An effective sentence: Unity, Coherence, Emphasis, Parallelism, needed words, Shifts (15)

For unity, let your sentence express one main thought with less important thoughts clearly subordinate to the principle idea.

Weak: Mr. Norris is a well-known economist, and she will speak at the October meeting.

Better: Mr. Norris, a well-known economist, will speak at the October meeting.

Weak: More people than ever before will be attending this conference and we suggest that you make your reservations now.

Better: Since more people than ever before will be attending this conference, we suggest that you make your reservations now.

ISSUE 2: COHERENCE Rule:

 When a sentence has coherence, the parts of the sentence fit together in proper relationships so that there can be no misunderstanding about the intending meanings. To achieve coherence place all modifying adjectives, adverbs, appositives and prepositional phrases near the words they should modify.

He showed me several wool turtleneck men’s sweaters. (Men’s wool turtleneck sweaters) Our team didn’t even score once. (Even once)

The robber was described as a six foot tall man with a mustache weighing 150 pounds. (150 pounds six foot tall man with a mustache.)

When watching a classic film such as Gone with the Wind, commercials are especially irritating. (Dangling modifiers) (I find commercials …) OR (When I am watching

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